My wonderful husband, in all of his infinite wisdom, loves to teach our son things. All kinds of things that a boy should know. Things like, “Be respectful of your momma”. Things like how to go pee outside. Things like, the cat-like characters from He-man are actually Panthor & Battle Cat. (But I think I remember him saying that their names are different if their super-hero powers are not being used. Like Superman and Clark Kent. I think.) Did you know that? I sure didn’t.
As a side note, when I googled: “What is the?” in an attempt to google “What is the name of He-man’s cat?” these are the suggestions Google gave me:
- longest word in the English language?
- meaning of life?
- average penis size?
- oxidation state of iodine in io3-?
- meaning of my name?
- stock market?
- chemical formula for boron bromide?
Take a good look at #3. When you google “What is the” the number 3 answer is penis size?! Wow. Just wow.
Now that I’ve completely fallen off topic, Greg is doing a fantastic job molding our demonic 2-year old sweet little angel into a tiny version of himself well-rounded man who is well-versed in his He-man trivia. He is also teaching him things like, “Put up your dukes” which, thanks to a 2-year old’s rather shaky interpretation of proper speech of the English language, turns into “Puddup yur dudes”. Very cute yet highly ineffective when trying to intimidate an opponent.
But, my current favorite word in the Brockenese language? Snamnich. Think sandwich, with Brock’s twist on things. I asked him the other night what he wanted for dinner.
A peanut butter & jelly snamnich.
“Sandwich?” I repeated
“Yup. Snaaaaaaaaam-nichhhhh!” as he pointed to the PB&J uncrustable in our fridge. (Did I mention that he said it will some degree of exasperation in his voice like he was irritated that he had to draw it out in crayon for me?!)
Nice. My not quite 3-year old talks to me like I’m stupid. Which clearly I am because I could not immediately interpret that snamnich = sandwich.
P.S. Spell check just gave me 3 different suggestions for snamnich. Option 1: Spanish. Option 2: sandwich. Option 3: staunch. Ha, Brock! Even the highly intelligent computer cannot accurately interpret your gibberish at first blush. Ease up on your momma, young man! Although, now that I think about it, spell check also wanted me to change “He-Man” to “Herman”. Pfst. Shows what the hell they know.