Okay, okay. I didn’t do so well this week. I actually *gasp* gained a pound. But, hold on! It wasn’t my fault!
Flimsy Excuse #1: This weekend was a cooking frenzy (banana bread, poppy seed bread, strawberry pies, cookies, apple crisp, berries & sweet cream sauce, etc.) and of course I had to sample my goodies. My great-grandma used to always say, “Never trust a cook that won’t eat what comes out of her kitchen.” So, obviously I want people to trust me. Plus? I’m a helluva baker so I had to sample it.
Flimsy Excuse #2: We had friends over for pizza and a movie on Tuesday. I told my friend that I had made apple crisp and had even bought french vanilla ice cream and caramel sauce to pour over the top. Her response? “Ewwwwww! Only old people eat apple crisp.”
Just get out of my house right now. Keep in mind that she fully admits to only eating chicken tenders (she actually called them tenders, people!) at restaurants until about a year ago. Maybe she equates old with grown up. But because I’m such an awesome hostess, I made her peanut butter cookies with a Hershey kiss in the middle per her request. Yeah, I’m a badass & that’s how I roll. I can’t have people coming over to my house and having treats that don’t appeal to their whiney tastebuds. It didn’t help my diet that I ate three of said cookies. Or that I drank a soda. Or that I ate 2 pieces of Supreme (yes mom. You read that correctly. I ate pizza with veggies on it) regular crust pizza.
Flimsy Excuse #3: If you are a loyal blog stalker follower *ahem* Jayna Newbold *ahem* you know that my mom’s 49th birthday was yesterday! If you know my family at all (most of you don’t–that’s cool. But I will tell you, you are missing out because we are a really good time.) you know that we celebrate our birthday’s by going out to lunch/dinner. Soooooo, we went out to TGIFriday’s last night and I was going to order a salad but good Lord. Anymore, the salads in restaurants have more calories than a regular meal. So I ordered a grilled chicken (with fried shrimp) meal.
And fried green beans as an appetizer.
But before you starting clucking your tongue at me, I exhibited quite a bit of restraint. I ate less than half of my green beans. I did eat all of my grilled chicken breast. I only ate 3 of the 6 shrimp (and lovingly gave Greg the other 3). Adrianna got about 3/4 of my mashed potatoes and between Brock & Greg I only managed to get about 2 bites of my baked beans. Please note that everybody at the table had their own food. For some reason, my sweet children and husband decided that mine looked much better. And? And???? When my husband and my mother both ordered the delectable vanilla bean cheesecake, did I have any? Nope. Not even one little delicious vanilla sliver. Sigh.
I will do better next week. ::holds up two fingers:: Scout’s honor.
At least I don’t look like this guy:
You may now be excused to dump bleach into your eyeballs in an attempt to remove that disgusting image from your brain.