Porn for Santa

(Important back story:

I work with a man who looks JUST like Santa.  No shit.  Identical to the big man in red.  His name is Clay.)

Yesterday at work, Clay and I were talking about his new birthday present.  His lovely wife bought him a nook from Barnes and Noble.  My mom just got one, too.

I really want one, but the only books I’ve managed to read lately are Green Eggs & Ham and How much do I love you? so I guess it wouldn’t really make sense right now.  But, one day, maybe when I’m done raising babies, I will be technologically cool. 

I should probably go ahead and prepare myself for the fact that I will probably never be technologically cool, huh?

Clay was bragging rubbing it in my face telling me about all the cool features of the nook.  Like, when you walk into a Barnes & Noble, it will automatically download all of the current, free books into your nook! 

You don’t have to do anything! 

I am green with envy!

As he was telling me all about his nook, he began to chuckle.  Then he began to chuckle a little harder.  Finally he stopped laughing long enough to tell me that he was browsing through his newest influx of books and one of them was called The Long Hard Ride.  Of course, I immediately thought of porn Harlequin Romance, but he thought it was a Western.  He told me, “I thought, meh.  I like Westerns.  I’ll give it a whirl.  Boy was I wrong.”

Turns out, when he got to chapter two and the main characters were doing things that Santa shouldn’t be reading about, he figured out what was going on.  He found out that the title wasn’t in reference to riding a horse across the frontier.

If he would have had the actual book in his hands, he probably would have known the difference.

Please excuse me while I go place an order to Amazon.com.

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2 thoughts on “Porn for Santa

  1. Yep, that is the one downside of the Nook. They have a ton of inappropriate titles in their free library. I usually try to read a little about them before downloading, but I am sure when I go to B&N, I will receive something like that, will have to delete it.
    But I am loving mine!! They even have service at the Amish when I went today, so I was able to download a couple of things while we were at the auction. (Yes, my periodic table of elements and weights and measures!!). Your dad might even read if I bought him one! Have to think about it, his birthday is coming up.
    Love,
    Nan and Papa

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