A glimpse into the mind of a two-year old: Part Deux

You may remember that I’ve said before that my son is random.  If you want to refresh your memory, click on the links for easy access to the proof of his insanity.

Yesterday, on the way home from the babysitter, Brock and I were talking.  Most days are pretty random mostly we talk about what he did that day, how many frogs he saw at the lake, etc. but yesterday took the cake; even for us!  Here is a little sample of what we talked about on the 20 minute drive:

Part 1: The babysitter reads them bible verses and sings songs with them everyday.  Apparently they have been studying when Jesus was crucified because he started singing this: ” . . . sent his onwy soooooonnnnn.  To die on Calvin’s twee.  To set me freeeeeeeee!”  I’m pretty sure “Calvin’s tree” was not where Jesus was crucified.  Me thinks it was Calvary.  But I’m not claiming to be an expert or anything.  When I tried to correct him, this is what I got, “Nooooo, mom!  Don’t say ‘Calvawy’ say ‘Calvin’s twee’!”

Part 2: Adrianna had a really bad diaper rash yesterday and I’m not sure if it is from heat, trying to cut teeth, if she ate something that irritated her stomach and gave her diarrhea or a combination of any of those things.  Here are Brock’s thoughts:

Brock: Sissy has a owie. 

Me: She does?

Brock: Yeah, her does.  On her bowwom.  I kiss her bowwom to make her feew bettew.  I can’t want to wook at it mom. 

Me: You can’t look at what, babe?

Brock: Her bowwom!  I can’t want to wook at any guwls’ bowwom!  Guwls can’t want to see my bottom.

Me: No, they probably don’t, honey.  Who told you that?

Brock: YOU did!

(I had forgotten I had told him that but he was right.  Both of the kids were taking a bath the other day and Brock kept telling me how “icky” Adrianna’s bottom looked (it looked normal, by the way).  I told him to stop looking at it (she was standing up in the tub).  He told me that she wanted to see his bottom.  I told him that nobody wanted to see his bottom.  Apparently, he remembers everything.)

Brock: ::singing:: . . . to die on Calvin’s tweeeeeeeeee . . .

Brock: Hey mom?

Me: Yeah?

Brock: You pwetty.

Me: tha-

Brock: I need dose wipes

Me: What wipes?

Brock: Dose wipes wight dere!  (in the diaper bag)

Me: No, honey.  You need to wait until we get ho-

Brock: Got dem!

Me: ::takes wipes and puts them back in diaper bag:: (Don’t worry.  Greg was driving but he was on the phone that’s why he has no speaking parts here!)

Brock: Hey! ::whine::  ::sniffle::  ::pout:: You give dose back wight now!  You hear me?!

Me: Young man!  Do you want me-

Brock: stop dis car wight now?!  Momma?  You gonna stop dis car wight now and spank me? 

Me: ::stifling laughter:: Is that what you want me to do?

Brock: Aghhhhhhh!  Noooooooo! ::sniff sniff:: I cwying now.

Holy crap.  I’m exhausted. 



4 thoughts on “A glimpse into the mind of a two-year old: Part Deux

  1. That makes me laugh, wait until Sissy can participate in the conversations! Must have been something in the air last night. We were cutting the walnut tree down and talking about things (serious things) that had been going on and all of the sudden your dad starts laughing. He said I know this is totally random but I was just thinking about Brock going out to pee Saturday evening and ending up at the compost pile, looking at it.
    Good thing he was not here last night, we have a ton of walwutts in our yard that he could pick up and throw in the weeds!
    Did you stop the car?? Did you, huh?
    Nan and Papa

  2. Tara, I read this at work yesterday and died laughing. I remember the days when my kids were tiny tots and would complete my sentences – out of the blue – usually in a public place! I thought they were put on this earth to embarrass me.

    Keep up the great work on your diet. I am up to 56 pounds now, and have done most of it with just the Wii-fit. I am addicted to the bike route. I like running the stupid dog off the cliff. I have also figured out how to avoid him, but that is another story.

    • I totally agree with kids and humiliation! I avoid Wal-Mart at all costs when the kids are with me because I know something awful will happen there!

      56?! As in, fifty-six?! That’s great! I love my wii-fit as well but, sadly, haven’t had too much time to play with it lately. We’ve been so busy and I usually fall asleep right after the kids do 😀

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