Did I ever tell you the story about when Brock put a hit out on his pediatrician’s nurse?

No?  Okay.  Then pull up a chair and I will fill you in.

Wednesday we took both of the kids to the pediatrician for Brock’s 3-year and Adrianna’s 1-year check up.  Brock loves to play “doctor” and we are forever getting examined with his Fischer Price stethoscope and blood pressure cuff.  I used that to my favor on Wednesday because I told Brock that the doctor was going to come into the room and use all of his “doctor tools” just like Brock does on us at home.  He did really well and even let the doctor look in his mouth, ears, nose, etc.  Then the doctor had Brock lie on the exam table and checked his hip, knee & ankle joints and Brock laughed because the doctor found a “tickle spot” on his knee.  Then, the doctor told Brock, “I need to pull down your underwear to make sure that you are a boy.  Is that okay.”  Brock obviously didn’t care because the child would never wear clothes if I didn’t force him to.  As soon as the pediatrician was finished, he said, “Yep.  You’re a boy.  You have the boy parts.”  Brock quickly replied, “Yep.  I have a weiner!”  Then he had to tell the pediatrician that his sister and mom don’t have “a weiner” because “they are guwls”. 

Hahahaha.  Everybody laugh at the poor mom who was 14 shades of red as the pediatrician just chuckled.

He has 6 kids.

He gets it.

Then the doctor did Adrianna’s exam.  She actually held still during the ear exam which is hard to believe since she has (I’m sure) terrible memories of her momma and the doctor holding her little head tight against my chest so he could take a peek at her raging ear infection.

We went over a few questions that we had, the pediatrician said that Brock is off-the-chart smart because he was reading Dick & Jane books and he can count to 20 and he knows that he is 3, etc. He also said that Adrianna is doing really well with her developmental milestones including walking (running), fine and gross motor & speech (she’s up to 6 words now!).  He also said not to worry about Brock talking for her all the time.  It’s a common second-child syndrome and that we should treasure the peace and quiet, yada yada yada.

Then he told us to come back with Adrianna in 3-4 months and happily chirped out of the office.

I had warned Brock that he was going to get shots and he was okay with that because he gives us “shots” with his Fisher Price syringe at home.  We decided that he should go first because if he saw his sister cry during hers, I was afraid that we would never get him to cooperate.

He dutifully laid down on the table and just sort-of watched as the nurse laid the syringes out.  I held his hands and gave him a kiss.

Then he screamed in my ear.

And again when she gave him the second shot. 

I rubbed his head, smothered him with kisses and picked him up as soon as I could.  Greg and I showed him his band-aid and told him that he would get a sticker as soon as we were done.  It only took about 2 minutes for him to stop crying.

Then it was Adrianna’s turn.

She happily kicked her feet on the crunchy paper and babbled away.  Then I held her hands and kissed her forehead.

Then she screamed in my ear.

Which made her brother start crying again.

I’m pretty sure it wasn’t out of sympathy.  It just reminded him that his leg still hurt.

And she screamed a second and third time when she got the other shots.  I scooped her up right away and we all four snuggled for a few minutes while the nurse made a hasty getaway. 

As soon, and I mean the second the nurse shut the door, Brock looked me square in the eye and said, “Mom, that wady was mean to me! ::sob::cough::sniffle::  Her shot me in the wegggggg!”  As Greg and I stifled laughter, he kept it up, “Mom!  You go get that mean wady and you shoot her for me, okay?!”

We explained over and over that the shots were medicine that you get to keep you from getting sick.  Very sick.

He didn’t care.

He was livid.

He made Greg carry him to the check-out window.

He cried the entire way to McDonald’s (What?!  It was almost dinner time, anyway.  Don’t judge me.)

He limped inside the house.

Every time he saw the band-aid on his thigh he would moan and cry and tell me again how mean that lady was and she poked him in the leg and how I needed to go back and avenge the wrong that had been done to him.

I was torn between giving him a hug, laughing at him and nominating him for an Oscar for his performance.

Shit, that kid is dramatic.

Here are their stats:

Brock:

(The nurse didn’t tell me the percentile on Brock’s measurements and I completely forgot to ask.  The doctor didn’t mention that anything was horrible out of whack, so I’m just going to assume that everything is okay)

  • height: 37.25 inches
  • weight: 31 pounds, 2 oz
  • head circumference: 50.5 cm

Adrianna:

  • height: 32 inches (75th percentile)
  • weight: 20 pounds, 14 oz (75th percentile)
  • head circumference: 47 cm (75th percentile)

At Adrianna’s last appointment, the pediatrician had expressed a little concern because her weight was in the 50th percentile.  However, that was in the middle of all of her ear infections and he said we could just watch it.  Obviously, since she has been feeling better, she has been eating more and her weight is back up.  He also said that her weight would probably drop again (back down into the 50th range) at her next appointment because she is running everywhere now and would begin to slim down.

Also, does anybody else think it is strange that Brock’s head is only 3.5 cm bigger than Adrianna’s & that he is only 5.25 inches taller than her?!

Advertisements

9 thoughts on “Did I ever tell you the story about when Brock put a hit out on his pediatrician’s nurse?

  1. Nope he seems taller than other kids his age (well at church anyway). We took the band-aids off last night and he said his shot is gone forever so maybe he is on the road to forgiving that terrible nurse. Hasn’t mentioned it at all today. Plus kids grow a lot their first year and then slow down some, you should know this!
    Love,
    Mom

  2. Jacob weighs better than half what Emily does. He is 4 months- she is 3 years old. So I can’t say I’m surprised. Glad he forgave the nurse for the shot. Emily told me after her last round of shots (a couple of months ago) that she did not like Jacob’s doctor ( it was a fill-in nurse because our regular nurse was out of town) and next time she wanted to see HER doctor instead.

  3. Pingback: Tweets that mention Did I ever tell you the story about when Brock put a hit out on his pediatrician’s nurse? « Many Sleepless Nights -- Topsy.com

  4. Please remember when they’re this close in age their size difference is going to disappear quickly. Jesse and Chris were about the same size by the time Jesse was about 18 months old. It’s ok. It’ll all balance out in the end.

  5. Your kids are so normal, Tara, their pictures should appear next to that word in the dictionary.

    That being said, I found this to be hilarious (not the part where the kids got “shot” and screamed, but all their comments). If I were Brock, I’d bring my Fischer Price doctor kit w/ me to every check-up and INSIST on giving the dr. and nurse a shot in return (and I would make it hurt!…as you say, “Don’t judge me”).

    When I worked in our pediatrician’s office (when our oldest son and daughter were little), I lectured my dr. (and boss) on my position regarding the caregiver having to hold their child during shot time. Isn’t the first year (or two or three?) all about building trust? Why doesn’t the nurse hold the kid while Mom or Dad goes out of the room? Hence, Brock’s outcry for you to take revenge on the mean “Wady”.

    I’m just sayin’.

    OK I’m off my soapbox now. Enjoy your McDonald’s! 🙂

    • You are very right about the trust vs. mistrust in the early years of childhood development. It does go against everything that I know about child/parent bonds but I guess the important thing is to teach them why they are getting the shot and to comfort them afterward.

      Thank you for standing up to your doctor! It’s important to keep them in their place 😉

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s