Before I get started with this week, let me address why I didn’t post last week.
For months now, I’ve been trying to lose weight. Some weeks have been better than others and I’ve lost a total of 21 pounds to-date. However, I’ve started to notice a scary trend in my house.
Adrianna vs. the scale
Every morning (after I pee, of course) I take off my jammies & step on the scale. Adrianna is always already awake and she is always hot on my heels.
When I do my hair (I’m using this term very loosely. Usually, it’s in a ponytail), she steals my brush and “does” her hair, too.
When I do my make-up, she gets out her make-up brush (an old one that I never used) and “does” her make-up, too.
When I brush my teeth, she grabs her little toothbrush and brushes her teeth, too.
I know that I shouldn’t be surprised that she would discover the scale but I am surprised that she, at the tender age of 15 months, would have such a reaction to it.
Normally, after I step off the scale, I head into our bedroom to get dressed.
Last week, I looked back into the bathroom and Adrianna had tapped the scale to turn it on and then when the number came on, she balled her tiny fists o’ fury at her sides, made her “angwy face” and sort-of . . . growled.
Obviously, she is mimicking somebody’s behavior & Greg really needs to get ahold of himself. I mean, c’mon. It’s only a number, Greg.
::hangs head in shame::
Of all of the bad traits that I have, I do not want to pass my body image issues to my children.
Obviously I understand that she is only 15 months old and doesn’t really understand what is going on. But children grow up quickly enough and I don’t want Adrianna to feel like she has to be on a diet before she is out of diapers. The things I want to teach her about her body are things like eating healthy, cooking nutritious food so you don’t have to eat junk just because it’s available & finding a good balance with exercise.
The things I don’t want to teach her are “if you weigh yourself first thing in the morning, just after you pee (an empty bladder weighs less!) and before you get dressed, you will weigh less”. I don’t want her to weigh herself 2-3 times/day because the control over the number is an addiction. I don’t want to teach her to skip breakfast. Or supper.
The root of the reason that I wanted to lose weight in the first place was because I want to be healthy for my children. Not to teach them how to cut corners & learn ways around the system.
So this week, rather than focusing on the scale, I focused on the changes. I looked at the actual, physical changes that I could be proud of. In the past 6 months, other than losing 21 pounds, these are the positive things that I’ve accomplished:
- I’ve lost all of my pregnancy weight from both of the kids
- I’ve lost an entire cup-size & a “girth” size in my bras
- I’ve packed away all of my “fat” clothes along with my maternity clothes and will be using all of my size 12-14’s during the next pregnancy (which is still quite a bit in the future)
- I went down a size in Spanx
- I have to get my wedding ring re-sized because it.fell.off last week
- I put on a pair of jeans last weekend that I haven’t seen since my freshman year of college. Granted it was with the aid of my trusty Spanx and I laid on the bed while Greg zipped the zipper, but still. They were on. And they zipped. Freshman year was 9 years ago, people.
- I enjoy shopping again because I’m not stuck in that awkward pre-pregnancy clothes are too small but maternity clothes are too big.
- I threw away 5 pair of underwear last week because they wouldn’t stay up
- I started doing Jillian’s 30-Day Shred again &, even though I thought I was going to pass out the first day & I was extremely sore the next couple of days, I knew I had accomplished something.
- I am back to calorie-tracking on My Fitness Pal & am forcing myself to be honest about what I eat & on days when I do not have enough time to login, I just put notes in my phone & fill it in the next day.
I think that’s a pretty good list!
So, for a few day (or weeks), I’m going to step away from the scale and just focus on how I feel. I’m going to keep up with Jillian (as best I can), keep calorie-tracking & keep searching for delicious & healthy recipes which, as much as it pains me to say so, I may have to step away from Pioneer Woman’s cooking tab for a bit.
But not for long!
She is my soul-mate and we share a love of all things butter & carbs.
Here’s hoping that I’m not setting myself up for failure . . .