It’s never too early to instill a good healthy, yet irrational fear in children

So that’s promptly what I did yesterday.  It was not at all my intention to make my daughter deathly afraid of lizards but that’s what we accomplished.

It all started out innocently enough.  She was unpacking the diaper bag and happened upon one of her brother’s lizards.

She would touch it, then pull her hand back, filling the room with peals of laughter.  And, though the lizard is somewhat life-like, it is not actually alive.

Apparently I was wrong to assume that she understood that.

When she dropped the lizard, I picked it up and made it “walk” across the floor.  When it would get too close to her, she would dissolve into a puddle of giggles and run down the hall.

Obviously, this evolved into the next logical step.

I held it out in her direction and said, “Touch it, Sissy.”

Disclaimer: It’s important for you to understand that I might be the worst mother that ever existed.  Please still love me after you read the next (run-on) sentence.

As she slowly reached out her chubby little index finger, I seized the opportunity to scare the bejesus outta her by thrusting it toward her while yelling, “Agh!”.

I have never seen my daughter more terrified in my life.  Her hands flew to her horror-stricken face.  Her eyes were the size of saucers and she let out the most blood-curdling scream I’ve ever heard come out of her tiny mouth.  Then she ran into my arms screaming, “Mamamamamama!”

After she finally settled down, she was convinced that, while maybe it wasn’t going to try to attack her again, it was definitely still alive & she needed to get as far away as was humanly possible.

She spent the rest of the night either avoiding the damn thing or running towards it to stomp on it.

The only reason she was smiling in the last picture is because she is a major ham-bone and instantly breaks out the smile whenever she sees the camera. 

She smiles. 

But clamps her eyes shut.

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8 thoughts on “It’s never too early to instill a good healthy, yet irrational fear in children

  1. Awwww!! Bless! Those photos are adorable!! I love this age where they are exloring everything.. My son sat staring at a glowstick yesterday and I think he thought it was suddenly going to come alive!! 🙂

    • Haha, too funny! My kids love glowsticks as well. My MIL gave them flashlights at Halloween and Adrianna was in a trance because the light was blue. She just kept staring at it going, “Ohhhhhhhhhh!” and clapping!

  2. Too funny and don’t worry she will scare the bejesus out of you soon enough, so I guess you are just getting your chance early! I didn’t think she was afraid of anything.
    Love,
    Mom

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