Is this thing on?
Can anybody hear me?
I’ve been gone for several days for a few reasons:
1) Um, hai. It was Christmas and the internet shuts down over major holidays (as well as their eve’s) and the following weekend.
2) I nearly died.
Okay, fine. #2 is a slight exaggeration. But I really felt like I was going to die so that counts for something, right?
Christmas night was one of the worst nights we’ve had in quite some time. I’m not sure if the kids were just so wound up from all of the holiday excitement or if they were plotting against us, but between the two of them, I think they only slept a total of 2 hours.
At one point (I think it was around 11pm), I mentioned to Greg that my throat was a little sore but I figured it was just because I was so tired.
Oh, hahahahahahaha! It’s a good thing that I can laugh at my own ignorance because that little thought was full of the stuff!
On the 26th when I woke up, I felt really bad. At first I thought it was just because I was so tired from the brats keeping us up all night, but then I tried to sit up. And imagine my surprise when the room started to spin & my whole body got tingly.
Of course Greg had a zillion things planned for the day so he called his mom to see if she could hang with the kids so I could rest & (hopefully) recover quickly.
They left the house around 9am. The next thing I know, it’s 5pm & Greg was walking in the door.
Whiskey. Tango. Foxtrot.
The last time I slept an entire day away I was in
college. okay, fine it was high school middle school when I was very very sick.
I’m pretty sure that when you become a mother, you enter into an unspoken agreement with the powers that be. Because you are not going to get any sleep from the moment that baby is born (and usually a few months before), the trade-off is you don’t get sick. Other than a little sniffle here & there, mom’s shouldn’t have to deal with the amount of sickness that leaves you spending the entire day in bed and not even realizing it.
I’m not sure if the details of my motherhood contract were written in lawyer-babble, but I got screwed.
I finally got up to pee about 6pm and it took every ounce of energy I had.
By Monday, I mustered up the courage to check my temperature.
Holy mother of pearl.
Another problem with being sick?
I don’t really have a primary doctor. Before I got pregnant, we had a wonderful family physician. Then she up & moved to Arkansas to be with her husband. When I was pregnant with the kids, my OB would have handled all of those things. But I’m not pregnant now (can I get an “Amen!”) so I decided to schlep over to the walk-in clinic.
Thankfully Greg was able to take me because I’m not entirely convinced that I would have been able to drive myself. We sat in the waiting room for an hour before they finally called my name.
I shuffled back to the vital signs area where the nurse checked my temp, purses her lips & goes, “Hmmmmm. Did you check this at home?”
Me (in a barely audible whisper): “Yes. It was 102.7 around 10am. What is it now?”
Her: “Weeeeeellll . . . it’s 103.5. Have you taken any Tylenol or Ibuprofen lately?”
Me: “No. I didn’t want to take any just before I came in and have my temperature be skewed.”
Her: “Well, would you like something now?”
Me: “Sure. Whatever.”
Her: “Which would you like?”
Me: “I don’t care.”
Her: “Um, okay. Which one?”
Me: “Could you please choose for me?”
I swear I wasn’t trying to be whiny or bitchy but my brain was mush and I literally couldn’t make the decision between Tylenol or Ibuprofen. I just wanted something to make me feel better.
Luckily, she just kind of chuckled, brought me 2 Ibuprofen, a huge glass of ice-cold water & took me to an exam room.
Then came the really fun part. Since my fever was so high, they wanted to do a rapid strep test & a flu test. I knew the strep test was going to be horrible since I’ve had one before and I already felt like every time I swallowed, I was trying to drink a glass full of knives rather than water, but I put up with it and only gagged a tiny amount.
But the flu test?
Well that was just weird.
She stuck a swab up my nostril, held the other nostril closed & had me blow my nose.
Lemme just say that she wasn’t afraid to really get up in there, either.
I know this sounds strange, but luckily I had strep & not the flu.
Strep is bacterial & can easily be cured with a little bit of antibiotics.
The flu? Well the only “cure” for that beast is rest, fluids & chicken noodle soup.
The sweet doctor gave me the prescriptions and sent us out of there.
Thanks to mold & it’s subsequent “grandchildren” in the form of modern antibiotics, I’m (mostly) healed up. I still have several more days to finish out my medications but today I’m at work and I don’t feel like I just got run over by a train.
Very good things.
Also? Adrianna went to the pediatrician on Monday and it turns out that both of the women in the house have strep yet somehow the men have managed to escape unscathed. The pediatrician put Brock on an antibiotic too since 1/2 of his immediate family have strep which I’m pretty sure helped (partially) clear up his sinus infection (which the doctor said he didn’t have but I think he did) and, as a result both of the kids slept a majority of the night last night.
Which is fantastic because considering the day that we had yesterday (which is another post for another day), we all needed some good sleep.
Also, I have a zillion more posts swimming around in my head or partially started in my drafts box so be prepared to be bombarded with new bloggy things for a bit.
Until then, did I show you this picture yet? I took it before I thought I was going to die:
That’s riiiiiiight! I work with the Santa Claus! He mysteriously took off last week to do some “last-minute Christmas stuff”. Yeah right, dude. Like we don’t know that you were way up north packing all my presents into your sleigh.