3-inch heels + several bottles of wine = Debauchery

Is it too late to blog about New Year’s Eve?

Okay, great!

I was going to do it anyway!

Since New Year’s Eve was on a Friday, I was off work & the kids were with Greg’s parents.  Stephanie & I hung out most of the day playing Just Dance on Wii & eating.

You really should balance exercise with food.

It’s just good sense.

Stephanie’s brother was home on leave from the Army so he couldn’t wait for Greg to get there to infuse a little more testosterone into the apartment.  He was getting really tired of us asking him to play Wii with us.

We had originally planned for all four of us to go to a friend of Stephanie’s house for a wine-themed party.  However, as the time to leave approached, the boys decided that they wanted to stay home & play old-school Nintendo.

Stephanie’s mom stayed behind with the boys.

Apparently Steph & I were the ones that needed the most supervision.

This is the only picture that survived that night.  It really is a good thing.

Many of the details of that night are pretty fuzzy but here are the things that I do remember:

  • I got drunk within about 30 minutes of arriving because I pounded back at least one bottle of wine by myself.  For reasons that I can’t really go into, but trust me; I knew that if I was going to survive the night, I had to get drunk and fast.
  • A woman sitting at the kitchen table farted.  Now, I’m not talking about a teeny tiny, ZOMG-I’m-so-embarrassed-that-slipped-out.  No no.  She lifted her leg like a man and farted a huge, beer-guzzling, football-watching, full-on dude fart.  To which I (apparently loudly) said, “Did she just effing fart?!”  Which, of course, made everybody turn their heads and stare at me.  Oh yeah, people.  I’m the freak-show here.
  • I played the best game of pool I’ve ever played.  That’s the way I remember it anyway.
  • Choco Vino is 14% alcohol & is best served over ice.  It tastes like a mudslide.  I think.  I drank an entire bottle of Moscato before I got brave enough to try the chocolate wine.
  • I’m much less (or possibly even more; see bullet #2) socially awkward when I’ve been drinking. 
  • It’s such a bad idea to skip dinner when you show up to a party carrying 3 bottles of wine that you fully intend to drink completely by yourself.
  • I had no one to kiss at midnight because my husband stayed at home with his buddy to play Tecmo Superbowl & Contra on Nintendo & I was mad so I pouted on the couch for about 10 minutes before the countdown.  Although, it’s probably a good idea that he didn’t come.  He gets really uncomfortable if I’m drinking in public & he’s not.  I cannot imagine why.
  • My feet hurt so badly at the end of the night that I could barely walk to the car.  My nursing shoes have ruined me of wearing cute shoes for any extended period of time.
  • Because I’m so generous, when we got back to Steph’s house around 1am, I made everybody delicious egg sandwiches.  It was only after I served the last one that I realized I didn’t get one.  But really, it’s okay.  I was starting to sober up at that point and the thought of an egg was enough to make me a little queasy.
  • Even though I got drunk, I was smart enough not to mix types of alcohol so I woke up the next morning without even the teeniest hangover.  Lookie there!  College did teach me something!
  • I’m kidding.  I learned other stuff in college.  I just can’t remember any of it right now.

2 thoughts on “3-inch heels + several bottles of wine = Debauchery

  1. 1. I just vomited in my mouth a little bit at the fact that you drank an entire bottle of nasty grosscato wine.
    2. Farting like a linebacker is not appropriate in social situations, and you were right in pointing it out. I would have doubled over in laughter.
    3. I drank an entire bottle of respectable wine on NYE and was sick the entire next day. In college, however, I drank shots of tequila and chased it with Guinness (don’t judge me), and I wasn’t sick at all! Perhaps I’m the anomaly that can mix alcohols.

    • 1. Moscato is the bomb diggity. Yummmmmmm! I wish I had a bottle right now 😀
      2. You would have doubled over in laughter. You are just as socially awkward as me + you have a mad case of the giggles.
      3. Maybe your rule should be to mix rather than not.

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