So, I know this girl.
We met in nursing school & she happens to be my best friend. We’ve known each other for about 6 years now and she never ceases to amaze me with the randomness blurts out of her mouth.
She also teases me relentlessly about having a blog (“Why on earth would you want a public journal?!” Sometimes, it’s like she doesn’t even know me. I’m an attention whore. That’s why I blog. Sheesh.)
So every now and then, to get her back for mocking me about the blog, I post some of the random crap that she says on my little corner of the internet. Enjoy!
“Oh! I thought that was a midget! It’s just a kid.”
Me: This cake is so good you will die.
Her: Like, from food poisoning?
Me: So, I got your Christmas present today.
Her: Oooooohhh, goody! What is it?
Me: Nope. You have to wait until Christmas.
Her: Give me a hint.
Me: It’s not clothes.
Her: It’s got to be, like, a magic mirror or something.
Ow! I just pulled my crotch muscle!
Her: We went to a restaurant.
Me: . . . .
Her: Okay, fine. It was Taco Bell. Whatever.
Her: Remember that time I went to the ER for chest pain?
Me: Um, nooooo. You never told me about that.
Her: Yes I did. Remember I went because I had been having chest pain and they did an EKG and my heart rate was fast but normal and then I remembered that I had eaten about 50 shock tarts earlier that day because I was craving something really sour?
Me: Did that really just happen? Or did I just imagine that?
Me: Did you seriously go to the ER for shock-tart overdose?
Her: Huh. Guess so!
Her: I’m not doing Jillian [Michaels] anymore.
Me: And why is that?
Her: Well. ::leans in for dramatic effect:: The other trainers that she works with said that on her newest DVD, she is showing people to do it wrong and they want her to recall it. When they asked to see her training license, she wouldn’t produce it. Why the hell would she hide it if she were a real trainer?
Me: Huh, sounds good enough to me! Hey, are you going to eat the rest of your cheesecake?