Payback is a dirty, rotten, sneaky bitch.

Dear Universe,

Apparently I crossed a line.  Last week I was so impressed when Adrianna told me that she had to potty and actually peed in the potty, not once but twice, I couldn’t contain myself.

I had to share the news with the world facebook.

I posted about what a proud momma I was that my big girl not only peed in the potty, but did so on her own accord.

I wrote a simple status update.  Not a 3-page note about the joys of potty training.

Apparently a status update was too much.

Apparently me dreaming of diaper-free days in the near future was out of line.

Apparently you rule with an iron fist, Universe, because of the hellish morning I faced the next day.

Both of my children were awake before 5am.  Brock had wet the bed and tried to explain it away with a leaky sippy cup. {Important note: my son did not take a sippy cup to bed with him that night.  He might be a little bit of a liar.}

Other than an early morning, Adrianna was doing okay.  She told me that she had to go potty and actually went on the toilet.

We cheered!

We danced!

We ate M&M’s!  I thought potty-training was in the bag.

{Obviously, I’m stupid.}

Then she decided that she wanted a drink.

She followed me into the kitchen.

I poured her a sippy cup of milk.

As I turned around to pour Brock’s cup, I heard a splash.

My immediate thought was that I didn’t put the lid on tight enough and she was covered in milk.

Instead, she had sat in the dog’s water dish and covered herself and the floor in water.

I stripped her clothes off and figured it was safe to leave her naked for 30 seconds because she had just peed.  (Literally, it was less than 5 minutes later.)  I also gave her a little swat on the behind because she knows that she is not supposed to play in the dog’s water or food and she sat in the bowl.

As I came back into the kitchen, she stops her hysterical crying, looks up at me and peed. on. the. floor.

I was instantly ignited and said, “Did you just pee on the floor?”

To which she responded simply, “Nope.”

::Deep breaths::

::Count to ten before you react::

::Hit a pillow, not a child::

It was a good thing that Greg’s dad came to pick the kids up less than 10 minutes later.

Otherwise, she might not have survived the day.

I’ve officially learned my lesson to never publicly brag about my children again for fear of your wrath.*

Affectionately yours,

Tara

*That’s probably a lie but since I threw in the disclaimer after the official letter, I’m pretty sure it’s like crossing your fingers behind your back.

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4 thoughts on “Payback is a dirty, rotten, sneaky bitch.

  1. Not a liar, just an active imagination! And as to her peeing on the floor, well I guess you should not have reprimanded her. She is a princess after all.
    Sweet revenge!
    Love,
    Mom and Dad

  2. Ah, potty-training. I consider myself fairly lucky that I only cleaned poop up off the living room floor twice (and, yes, I shampooed the carpet after that). The Universe was apparently trying to teach me that letting Noah run around in underwear that was obviously a little too big for him was a BAD idea.

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