Just sneaky or borderline I’m-about-to-be-out-smarted-by-my-four-year-old?

Brock has been a thumb sucker since day 1.

A binkie just wouldn’t cut it because he would roll it around in his mouth for a few seconds, spit it out, scream his fool head off and then eventually find his thumb and would self-soothe.

For awhile, it was no big deal but now that he’s four (and a half! Gasp!), it’s high-time we ditch the thumb-sucking.  We’ve tried several different things ranging from gentle reminders to taking his beloved Brown Dog away for 5 minutes at a time.

One thing that we tried (and abandoned) multiple times is a little substance called Thumb.  It tastes horrible and the idea is to brush it onto the child’s thumb and it will keep them from sucking their thumb.

Easy-peasy, right?

Except.  Brock puts on a very convincing show when we pull out the vial of Thumb.

He cries.

He tucks his thumbs into his fists.

He cries more.

He tries to bargain.

He screams.

He tells us how unfair his life is!  We are the meanest parents ever!

He usually talks Greg out of it on the condition that he won’t suck his thumb (Ha!  Haha!  Hahahahahahahaha!  Silly Greg)

Last night, I decided that I had to be the mean parent and force Greg to stay strong.

We got many “Life’s not fair!” and wailing and big.fat.crocodile.tears but we stayed strong and put the Thumb on the thumbs. (We got a double-unfair! when he realized that we were after both of his thumbs!  Haha!  Like I was going to forget the other one?!)

But he did finally fall asleep and he even boasted this morning about how proud he was of himself that he didn’t suck his thumb last night and how he was working on not sucking his thumb today because he learned his lesson and didn’t want the “yucky stuff” on his thumbs again tonight.

We were so proud of our big boy!

We couldn’t believe our good luck (<–This?  Right here?  I deserve to have my “experienced mother” card revoked and I deserve a big fat rookie ribbon stapled to my damn forehead.  Never.  NEVER think these things, much less say them out loud.  No sooner do you brag to your friends about how well your child is sleeping, do they make you eat your words at midnight, 1am, 3am, 3:30am & 5am.)

Tonight, as we were tucking Brock in, Greg caught him sucking his thumb.

“Son, do I need to put that yucky stuff on your thumb?”

“Um, sure!  I don’t want to suck my thumbs anymore!  Go ahead, Dad!”

{enter suspicious mother}

“Uh, okay.  Good choice, son”

Then, initially joking, Greg said, “Should I put it on your fingers, too?”

Immediately, all laughter and superiority disappeared from our first-born’s face.


He cried.

He balled his fingers into fists.

He cried more.

He tried to bargain.

He screamed.

He told us how unfair his life is!  We are the meanest parents ever!

Greg’s jaw dropped as I silently laughed to myself.

That’s right.  Brock wasn’t sucking his thumb.

Nope.  He was sucking his fingers when Greg was putting the Thumb on his thumbs.

Greg could NOT believe that he was tricked by our little angel.

I could not believe that it took the little “angel” as long as it did to figure out a way around it.

Homeboy is pissed that we aren’t as stupid as he had assumed.

He’s got one of two career options at this point:

1) Politician

2) White-collar criminal

And, I mean really?  These days?  Is there any difference?


2 thoughts on “Just sneaky or borderline I’m-about-to-be-out-smarted-by-my-four-year-old?

  1. Where did you purchase this stuff? Addy Jo us a thumb sucker as well…. We have tried taking away, positive reinforcement…. Nothing works

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